More conversations in 2023 about New Year’s resolutions encourage people to focus not just on the goal itself, but the feeling around the goal as well. We often make resolutions that are specific for things we want to get or do: a certain dollar amount we want to earn, places we want to travel, that dream job or perfect partner, a weight loss goal, etc.
But we don’t focus on the feeling behind them – what is your why and how would achieving these things make you feel?
How would you feel if you secured that dream job?
How would having your ideal romantic partner improve your life?
What energy do you envision when you think of taking that trip?
How would it feel to earn that amount of money?
How would you move, act, feel and show up for yourself by achieving each of these goals?
2 Benefits of Focusing on the Feeling
1. Being present – You can enjoy life in the moment when you’re more focused on the process and the experience than the end goal.
For example, you’ll miss out on all the amazing non-scale victories like having more energy, increased flexibility, improved cardio endurance and better sleep when you’re only focused on the number on the scale.
2. Embracing an agile pivot – By focusing on how you feel, you can avoid ‘all or nothing’ thinking and pivot when necessary toward still reaching your goals. You can reassess if what you’re striving for isn’t making you feel good/right/aligned.
For example, if you’re only focused on getting that one job, you may miss out on the opportunity to network with people who are connected to positions that could be a better fit. Don’t close yourself off to other opportunities along the way.
I realized early on in my efforts that this is how I would have to approach my goal of waking up earlier in the morning to get to the gym. There will never be a time when I feel motivated to get out of my warm, comfortable bed, snuggled under cozy blankets, entering my third dream!
If I focus solely on getting up, it won’t happen. But, when I focus on how I would feel starting the day earlier, it made the goal seem more appealing, exciting and realistic (even though it’s rough and I still struggle to actually peel back the covers most days)!
My motivation for becoming a morning person was mainly to get my workout in earlier but I was energized by all of the feelings that go with that achieving that goal: being proud for keeping that promise to myself, starting the day by checking in with myself first, logging off from work and being done for the evening without having to venture back out to the busy gym, enjoying time with my family in the evenings to name a few!
Setting New Year’s resolutions can become a mindfulness practice when you pay attention to the feeling of the goal and not only the goal itself.
You are not a machine; you deserve to take time to pause, check in on how you feel, enjoy the moment and embody the mantra the pursuit is the point.
If you notice a common theme of feelings of security, peace and harmony, take inventory of the other areas of your life that don’t bring out those feelings and make changes to live with more synchronicity in all areas of your life.
If you’ve already made your resolutions, I encourage you to go back through them one-by-one and write a list of feelings you’d like to experience on the path to accomplishing each one. If you haven’t made your resolutions, start with the feelings first.